ENGAGEMENT- ADRAVANOO  (if it has not been a long engagement before the wedding it is usually done 4 days before the wedding day.)

Marriage festivities generally last for four days.  In this case Engagement takes place in the morning . The first of these is called Madav–soro, when a twig of tree, generally a mango-tree twig, is planted near the door, symbolises of wish of fertility

Second and Third days are known for Varadh-Patara days when religious ceremonies in honour of the dear departed is performed in the morning and Adarni ceremony is done in the evening) as explained below:

Boy’s  Side

What all you will need to  keep ready:

*Follow all the procedure from Sagan ni reet to get the home ready to welcome the in-laws.

*Chalo Ses ne Sangariye ….Get the BIG SES Ready as per details given  in ‘SES’ sangarvani. 

What you need to keep ready from Boy’s side

1. One full set of Red/Maroon saree, Blouse, petticoat, Sadro, underwears, kasti, scarf, hankerchief, 5-7 red Bangles, sagan-nu envelope.
2. Shoes
3. Dahi Machli na sagan ni Saree , blouse, petticoat or OR Earings or cash envelope.
4. One silver coin to put in the Divanu glass.
5. Silver Ring Mother –in-Law first puts it on the Daughter-in-law.
6. Engagement Ring new one or one from the set

Arrange tray for Dahi Machli

1. 3-5 fresh fish (not practical) or Mawa ni boi or chocolate ni boi.
2. One bowl of sweet curd
3. Khadi Sakar
4. In one small bowl dry kunkoo (sagan-nu)
5. Garland the tray.

Keep  2  Achoo Michoo trays  ready near the door before you leave one for when you return with the bride and another for when the Girl’s side come over to Boy’s house.

Chalo Adravva Jaiye ne Vahumai ne ghere laviye

On good muhrat time boy’s side  leave with 5 to 7 women  for the girl’s house. Boy does not come along, he stays back.

On their arrival at the girl’s  house, the girl’s mother will do Aachhoo-michoo and welcome them in.

The girl is then  invited to stand with her right foot first on the patla and mother-in-law will do the sagan. First she will do tilli on the girl’s right foot, then left and then on the forehead.  Then put on the garland. Then give her Coconut along with Paan, sopari, badam, kahrek, batasa and few grain of rice.   She is then given the engagement saree set (keep the saree aside)  along with kasti . Take a small piece of sakar or batasa dip it dahi and feed the bride (Monoo mithoo karavanoo)  Mother in-law sticks few grains of rice on the bride’s forehaead and takes overna and girl gets off the patla with her right foot.  She will then go in (leave the saree out) and changes the clothes prays and ties the new kasti wears the new shoes and comes out to stand on the patla again…..

(while the girl is changing her clothes the girl’s  is requested to  removes one or two   Mawa-ni-boi from boy’s tray and puts one sagan nu envelope in the tray. And the boy’s mother puts a coin in the diva praying that the families always remains united to –gether with their children)

When the bride  has changed and comes out she is made to stand on the Patla and Mother in law has to put little rose water and two three grains of rice and tie a small loose knot. This is called saree no chero thando karvano.  Now  with the help of other women who have accompanied her,  helps her to drape the engagement saree on the bride.  and drape the saree, matha par sor karvani, and now put on the  garland,  do all the sagan again, and put on two red Bengals and puts on silver ring and give her coconut, paan, sopari, badam, sakar etc in hand along with an envelope.  You may also give  Dahi Machli ni reet ni earings (you may use the earings from the Jewelry  set/or set of clothes along with an envelope. Give her sakar and dahi, take ovarna and hug her tight and welcome her to your family,  let her get off the patla with her right foot. Sprinkle little rose water.

Everyone sits to enjoy the refreshments.

After that all the ladies who have accompanied  (first to Mother-in-law) or 5 or 7  should be made to stand on the patla and do sagan, garland  give coconut and envelope. (the amount can be previously discussed so that the boys side and add little more and keep the envelopes ready from their side)

Put little rose water on the patla.

The boy’s side now leave along with the to be  happy daughter-in-law ,  and take along the Ses, Dahi Machli ni tray with the bowl of dahi, all the envelopes, coconuts and garlands and Sasu (mother-in law’s vago). 

when  they arrives home, mother-in-law  will enter the house first  and does achoo michoo and takes the daughter inside the house (Right foot first in) where to be Groom is anxiously J waiting her arrival.

Chalo  Baddha  Jamai –Raja-ne- Sungarva-Jaiye

What to keep ready for  Engagement Ses

Girl’s side

1.Envleope with little more than what was gifted  to the Bride.(Known as engagement vaga na rupiya).

If you have pure silver fish you can get it polished and keep or buy new (optional) to be given away to the daughter as sign of Good Luck.

2.Gold Shirt Buttons for Dahi Machli na sagan-na along with an envelope

3.One Silver Ring (Mother-in-law puts on the Bride Groom)

3.One Ring for the Engagement (Gold, white gold, Diamond) whatever is previously planned.

4.One Silver coin to put in the Diva

5. A bouquet (optional) One  Big Garland

Sakar Tapka ni Tray

1. Fill the tray with Khadi Sakar
2. Small silver glass with dry Kankoo (sagan-nu)
3. Put a garland on the tray

Dahi Machli ni Tray

1.Five Mawa or Chocolate boi

2.Dahi Machli no bowl –Small bowl of German silver, or cut-glass  filled with sweet curd.

3.If you wish you put one silver ring or coin for sagan.

4.Put a garland on the tray.

Both the above trays you have to leave at the Boy’s house.

**********

Girl’s side family leaves with 5-7 ladies  with all the  Ses and two trays to go to the Boy’s house.

When they arrive at the Boy’s house , the boy’s mother does Achoo Michoo and welcomes them in…

Son-in- Law is welcomed to come and stand on the patla, Mother-in-law do es the sagan and along with coconut, paan…… give one envelope for engagement Put on the Silver ring on his finger, gives him an envelope along with the Dahi Machli na tirth na Gold Shirt Buttons.  Ovarna lai ne hug him and now invite the Bride  also to the patla  to the left side of the boy (if u wish you may do teeli again) and let both the children exchange their Engagement rings. (First boy will put the ring on the girl’s finger and then girl will put the ring on the boy’s finger.  KISS J.  Everyone takes ovarna and meets the bridal couple with their gifts/wishes.

Girl’s mother Puts one silver coin in the diva, and wish well for both the families to remain united always.

Serve Refreshments.

After that all the ladies who have accompanied or 5 or 7  should be made to stand on the patla and do sagan, garland  give coconut and envelopes to everyone.  (the amount can be previously discussed so that the boys side and add little more and keep the envelopes ready from their side)

The couple  may  now go the Agiary/Atashbehram  to take the blessings of AhuraMazda and AtashPadsha.  When they  will return home to Boy’s house,  take ovarna with rice and welcome them home.

The Bride will remain with the Groom for lunch and while the Girls family leaves to go home with their Ses, invite both the children to come home for Dinner in the evening.

In the evening when the Bridal couple leaves home to go Girl’s house, do sagan to the girl, if you wish make her wear the new clothes give her one box of sweet coconut and an envelope.

When the Bridal couple comes home to Girl’s house do Achoo Michoo and take them in with their right foot forward.

After Dinner when the Boy leaves to go home do sagan to the Boy, give him one box of sweet, coconut and an envelope.

When the Groom returns home in the night  Boy’s mother takes overna and takes him in at home.

Courtesy : Thrity Tantra (thrity@on-lyne.com)

Achoo Michoo Ceremony 

What to keep ready:

1. One Small Thali/ Khumchi called achoo michoo ni ses.
2. One Cleaned coconut (remove the husk so breaking becomes easier)
3. 3-5 Paan, Kharek, Sopari, Badam,harad no Gathio, Sakar, Bataso (optional),
4. One Full Raw Egg
5. One plastic/aluminum foil tray to break the egg in
6. One table spoon rice in a small bowl/vati
7. One small Katli/glass of water

How to do Achoo Michoo

When they arrive at the door….let one person hold the Achoo Michoo Ses and stand next to the person who is welcoming guests in..First :

1. You may put a Paper tray on the left side of your tray (optional0
2. Take egg and take it around the person/persons seven times and BREAK it on the right side of the person who is entering.
3. Now take Paan, Sopari, Kharek, Harad, Sakar, Badam with little rice, hold all together and take it around seven times and throw on the right side. (In the villages they throw it behind in the compound)
4. Then take Coconut again take it around seven times and BREAK it on the right side (you may take help of a male member if you wish and put little water on the threshold of the door) and put it on the right side.
5. Now your ses only has rice bowl and bowl of water the person holding the ses will  put little rice in the ses and pour little water in the ses and give it to you.
6. Take the whole Khumchi/ses around the head for seven times and put little water with rice on the right side and then on the left side.(this is to make the Umber/threshold cool)
7. Take some rice and take OVARNA / Vadhavi Levanoo (throw rice on the person with both your hands and let them in with a  J SMILE)
8. The Guests will step in with their RIGHT FOOT.

Courtesy : Thrity Tantra (thrity@on-lyne.com)

Sagan/Teeli

What  and how to keep ready

Sweep, Swab the floor, Put chowk with colour, hang garlands on the doors.

Keep ses ready.

Garland Lord Zoroaster Photo Frame.

Cook something sweet Sev,Rawo,sweet curd, Dar ni Pori…..etc. for Breakfast.

Clean the place where you are going to SAGAN and put chowk  (if you have carpet, you may want to put a piece of thick cardboard or wood).  If you have a patla clean the patla and put chowk on it (5-7)  and place on the chowk on the floor. 

Person for whom you are doing sagan  (for Birthday, Navjote, Engagement…..etc)  will come and stand from behind the patla facing preferably the EAST direction (optional) with his/her Right foot first.  While getting down, get down with Right foot.

The person who is doing the Sagan will first put Tili on the right foot of the person, then left foot and then on the head.

Small round teeli for the girl and long  vertical one for the boy. (The long vertical mark symbolizes a ray of sun and round mark symbolizes the moon.

Now put Garland first

Then give paan, Sopari, Harad, Badam,sakar and coconut.

Give  ENVELOPE or GIFT

Put small piece of sakar with curd (or use spoon)

Take little rice in your palm and stick it on the teeli on forehead.

Take Ovarna

Let everyone meet and give their gifts.

The person has to get down from the front side with right foot.

Once the person gets down you may sprinkle little  Rose water on the chowk.

Courtesy : Thrity Tantra (thrity@on-lyne.com)

Madavsoro

 (Madavsora is done the same day after the Engagement …the beginning, first day  of the marriage ceremony which is done 4 days prior to the day of the Wedding,  where a mango sapling is sowed with wealth of things, wishing the bridal couple health, wealth, prosperity that is  as the small sapling grows into a big strong tree and bears sweet fruits, may your love grow as strong to bear good, sweet  and strong children)

Madavsoro, Supra ni reet, Harad (pithi chorvani) reet are same for Bride/Bride Groom and it is to be done at their individual homes.

Start early by 3.45p.m. So that you can finish everything on time.

Chalo Madavsora ni tayaari kariyeWhat you need to keep ready:

One Mango Sapling

One Big clay pot with soil in which you will sow the Mango Sapling. Prepare the pot of mud, by putting little water and make the mud loose. Put the pot of red soil (previously brought) outside your entrance door, on a colourful chowk near the wall where you will do the the Kharaptoo.

In a small khoomchi/ thali/ tray- Put in one bowl of Kharaptoo, how to make it –  take… 3-4 tabsp. of rice flour and  2 tabsp. of harad (turmeric) powder, a pinch of  kankoo and mix it with Rose water and make a paste.

A small bowl kankoo mixed in rose water.

 A small bowl rice, one glass water paan, sopari, badam, kharek, halad no gathiyo, bowl of sweet curd, Madavsora ni pariki,  a coconut which previously you have readied in the morning.

One galss of water

One small bowl rice

One small bowl wheat

One packet of soonu,rupoo, pearl etc. available at the Jweller

In one plate  keep Paan, Sopari, Harad no Gathio, Sakar, Batasa, 1 egg,

1 small bowl of curd.

2 Sutar na daro (special thread)/ Aara antar no Doro

Keep Afarganoo ready with ignited coal, Kolso pajravvano, sukhad, loban and veher.

One Red Saree or chunni to tie a turban on Brother/uncle who will sow the Madavsoro.  One garland and an envelope for him.

One Garland for the Groom, coconut and an envelope.

One Garland for the Mango sapling

One small mulmul unstiched piece approx. 9” x 9”

Paper Napkins

Chowk toran na sagan kari, batii, loban kari ne Dada Ahura Mazda ne yaad kari ne saari doova mongo ne kaam saroo karo, take one small clean coconut that the Boy/Girl will take for the wedding, clean the coconut well but keep the point intact. Put a tili on the coconut or you may even write Shadi Mubarak, or draw a swastika if you like or just a plain tili will also do (This can be done before time and kept ready).

Bride/Groom  can be in any comfortable new clothes. Home clothes would do.

Make the Bride/Groom stand on the patla and do the sagan ni tilli, garland and give her a gift envelope along with a coconut that she will be using for the wedding, scarf on head.

The person either brother, mama (uncle) or anyone who is going to sow the Madav (Mango sapling) should also be made to stand on the patla and do the sagan ni tili. And ladies should tie a red coloured paghdi on his head (it could be either red coloured saree, or big chunni not necessarily new) and give an envelope and Mango sapling in his hand.

 All the four wedded ladies who are going to participate must do a sagan ni tilli wear a scarf and along with the bride to be, go out of the house, with loban, khoomchi that is kept ready with kankoo, harad etc.

Near the pot make the person with sapling sit, the bride/groom  to be,  stands near him. While the ceremony is being done ladies and bride/groom to be must pray Yath Ahu Varioyo in her mind and seek Ahura Mazda’s blessings.

1. First he will have to do the Kharaptoo on the wall using his first 3 fingers drawing two vertical lines at a distance of 7” to 8”/
2. Cutting the lines at the top and bottom, he will draw two horizontal lines.
3. Now cutting the ends of the corner he will have to draw one diagonal line with three fingers again, draw another paralled line leaving a good distance, similaraly join these lines with horizontal lines, you will get a big square with ends of the line jutting out, now  from left top corner to right end bottom corner, repeat from right hand top corner to left hand bottom corner.
4. Now with Kankoo, put five tilas with thumb , in four corners and one in the centre.
5. Clean hands on the mulmul piece that you have taken in the ses.
6. Now make a hole in the centre of the pot, if required remove a bit of mud in a plate from first.
7. Put in madavsora ni pariki
8. Put in curd
9. Put in little rice
10. Put in little wheat
11. Paan, kharek, badam, sopari, halad no gathiyo,sakar
12. Mix everthing a little, and put in the sapling firmly by putting the mud from the side to the centre, pour little water,  while doing this please pray 7 Yatha Ahu vario, and the 4 ladies and Bride/Groom also will touch the sapling will also pray the same.
13. Wipe your hands on the Mulmul cloth and spread it on the Sapling securing the ends in the leaves.
14. Take paan, sopari etc. 7 times ovary ne put in the pot.
15. The person who does the Madavsoro will take an egg and 7 times ovari ne break it on the right side.
16. Take a coconut and take it around the sapling 7 times (ovarvanoo) and break the coconut putting little water inside the pot too.
17. Give him a paper napkin to wipe off his hands.
18. Give one sutar no daro in the person who has sowed the Madav.
19. Now take the coconut from the Girl’s hands and mother or any married lady (sohasan) takes the Sutar no thread ties it round the coconut while reciting 7 Yatha Ahu Vario (one Yatha for each round slowly) at the end of the seventh round, break the thread, and twist both ends and with a little kankoo and haldi twist the two ends together and slide inside so it does not open. Simultaneously, the person who is sowing the madav will also tie the sutar no doro round the sapling praying 7 Yatha at the end twist the two ends. Now give it in the hands of Bride or Bride Groom and tell her to put little sandalwood and loban and wish well.  
20. Give little rice to everyone, 4 ladies, the bride and the person who sowed the sapling- now take overna with rice (take overna of the sapling wishing the couple long, happy and successful life ahead)
21. Pour little water in the pot.
22. Bride to be puts a little sukhad, loban and then everyone present can put the loban and take the( afarganyoo) loban round the sapling and then all over the house.
23. Take the Girl/Boy inside the house, mother to take the overna.
24. The girl will take the kharpta no bowl and bowl of kankoo and put tila on all the doors 3 haldi and 2 kankoo with 3 fingers. The fingers going from down to upwards and outside to inside (optional)
25. Please put the coconut away at safe place standing in a bowl till the wedding Day when you have to take it along.

For the next 4 days put little water in the pot.

This pot and sapling can be put in the sea or transplanted elsewhere, river, lake after the Varovar is done.

Courtesy : Thrity Tantra (thrity@on-lyne.com)

SUPRA NI REET – Ne – HALDI NI REET

Supra ni reet is done immediately after the Madavsoro

What will you need.
4 Supras keep ready in the morning
1 Khalli batto (hand spice grinder ) with one or two harad na ganthia. Put a small garland over it.
1 bowl of ready mix of turmeric powder and rose water
4 supras each tied with 7 rounds of aara-antar- no-doro at the open edge and sealed with turmeric and kankoo paste.(Do not put a knot).
Put 3 kankoo tiliees and inbetween put 2 harad ni tiliees. Put a garland of flowers, a fistful of rice, green moong, whole wheat, a pieces of fresh coconut,(break one coconut and make pieces), paan, kharek, badam, bataso, sakar. If you can get atleast one Twin banana, one small ealichi banana in each supra.

Chalo 4 sohasano Supra zatkva
Clean the place and put chowk. In the centre put the Grinding stone and make the Bride/Groom sit in the centre to pound the haldi. While the supras are being tossed the Bride/Groom has to grind the haldi.
The Four ladies their head covered with scarves sit facing each other surrounding the Bride/Groom.
All the ladies have to toss the supras 7 times and exchange with the person sitting opposite.
Again toss the supras 7 times and exchange supra with the person sitting next to you.
This tossing and exchanging should be done Seven times.
Put supras down.
And the four ladies can hold the Bride/Groom hand and help him to pound the haldi 7 times. (Have fun)

Take a pinch of haldi powder and add it to the bowl you have kept ready with a teaspoon of milk.

HALDI NI REET
Immediately after the supra ni reet the Bride/Groom can go and change the clothes and wear old clothes which should be ok if they get soiled with the haldi stains (easy to wash off).
Make the Bride/Groom sit on the patla and mother can apply little haldi paste on the forehead, cheeks, hands and feet and whosoever wants to apply can come and apply and have fun. (If the Bride/Groom is not happy about it, please do not do it).
You may have fun picking up the groom sitting on the patla 7 times and put him down again. (optional)
(There are others methods also of doing this)
After everyone has finished applying Bride/Groom can go for a bath. Little milk and flowers to be given before bath, and when She/He finishes her bath and comes out the mother can take an egg, take around the head 7 times and break it near the bathroom door in a paper plate or aluminum foil, and take overna.

Courtesy : Thrity Tantra (thrity@on-lyne.com)

DIVO  ADARNI

The  2^nd  day  after the  Madavsoro is regarded as the day for exchanging  gifts between both the families.

What you need to keep ready  from Groom’s  side

Keep the Big ses ready … with Soparo, Paro, Pigani,Gulabas, Paan , Sakar, kharek, badam, sopari,batasa, red Bangles on top of Sopara, Bowl of sweet Curd, 1 silver coin (Jarthost or Lakshmi),

One new Hanky/napkin.

For the Bride Adarni- ni Saree, Petticoat, Blouse, underwear, Sadro, Kasti, Shoes, Red Bengals on the Sopara) + Either Necklace or Earings from the set. Sagan-nu-envelope.

Shoes

Take the Saree set for the Bride’s mother (Sopra na Kapra) along with a sagan nu envelope.

Keep 5-7 envelopes ready for sagan to the other ladies who come along, as previously discussed.

One coin for Diva

Rial  available at Parsi Jeweller

Garland on the Ses

Garland for the Bride

Patlo with chalk and colour keep ready.

Refreshments

Achoo Michoo ni Khumchi to be kept ready for when the Bride side comes over.

What you need to keep ready  from Bride’s side

1. Big Full Ses (optional unless the Groom’s side insists) with Soparo, Paro Pigani, Gulabas, Paan , Sakar, kharek, badam, sopari,batasa, red Bangles on top of Sopara, Bowl of sweet Curd, 1 silver coin (Jarthost or Lashmi),
2. One new Hanky/napkin. Also put in this Ses (Full Vaga for the Groom) all the clothes or some of the clothes (rest can be taken in a bag) Shirts, Pants, Hankies, Socks, Sadra, Briefs, Kasti, Topi, Pheto/Paghri (or envelope)  Shawl, Shoes, Slippers, Soap, Soap Case, Hair Brush, Comb, Perfume.
3. Watch or Buttons,/Chain Pendant/Bracelet. Vaga na rupiya nu sagan nu envelope. Garlanded
4. In a Big Suitcase according to their financial status the Bride’s family give their daughter a year’s stock of clothes, necessary items like towels, bed sheets, linen, kitchen equipments, etc. to set up a new home. Garlanded
5. Aakha varas ni Jewellery…Chain, Pendent, Bengals, Earrings etc. for regular use (can be given anytime)
6. Utensils..Pad-na-vasan

 4 Big or Small  cooker/utensils  with a  lid as per requirement each filled with :

(lids should not be taken along they should be sent after the wedding)

 1 packet of raw Sev (vermacilli),

¼ kg. wheat,

One small packet of pure ghee, paan, sopari, kharek, sakar.

 One small packet of Jaggery and dry coconut vati.

Do not cover the utensils, take the lids separately or you may put in the suitcase.

If you put the utensils one above the other, then please put the utensil containing Sopari  on the top.

All utensils should be garlanded.

In another Khumcho Saree set for the Boy’s mother with a sagan nu envelope (Sasu-dakhal na kapra) with sagan-nu-envelope.

Saree set for Boy’s sister  with sagan nu envelope (Naran-dakhal na kapra) with sagan-nu-envelope.

One Coin to be put in the Diva.

Saree set for the Boy’s mother with a sagan nu envelope (Sasu-dakhal na kapra)

Saree set for Boy’s sister  with sagan nu envelope (Naran-dakhal na kapra)

Keep 5-7 envelopes ready for sagan to the other ladies who come along, as previously discussed.

Garlands for the Groom and other ladies who come along.

Refreshments for the guests.

Patlo with chalk and colour keep ready.

Achoo Michoo ni Khumchi  to be kept ready.

Groom’s side goes over to Bride’s place

First the Grooms side goes over to the Brides place with the Big ses. Girl’s mother welcomes you home with Achoo Michoo. After meeting everyone, make the Bride stand on the patla and do the sagan.  Give her all the clothes wrapped in so things don’t fall out.  She will go and change into her new clothes and when she comes out Grooms mother will do sagan and put a grain or two in the saree, wet the corner (Saree no chero thando karvano) with help of other women drape the saree on her, make her wear the glass red Bangles  and the to be Father-in-Law will put on the necklace or earings.  Mother in law will put on the Rial. Put on the Garland and take ovarna. Let everyone meet the Bride with Best Wishes. Let her come down the patla with her Right Foot.

Put one coin in the diva and wish Good Luck to the couple.

Bride’s mother now invites   Groom’s mother- to stand on the patla, does sagan and gives her Sasu-dakhal-ni- saree –full  set along with coconut,paan, sopari……etc. along with an sagan nu envelope. In one kora new mathabana (do not stitch the border of matabana) tie some sagan na rupiya and little chokha, in one corner of the mathabanoo, gaanth mari devano. (for Sasu-dakhal na kapra ni reet, you may with mutual understanding get the blouse, peticoat stitched to the bride’s measurement). This is called ‘Ghere tedvani reet’ when the girl comes back home to her mother’s place,  she may change into this saree and come if she so wishes.

OR –both side mothers-in-laws can keep the sarees for themselves and wear that at the wedding of their children., accordingly blouse, peticoate has to be stitched.

Next comes the Sagan for the Sister-in-Law, invite her to the patla and do sagan and present her with the Saree set (Naran-dakhal-kapra) with a sagan nu envelope.

Serve refreshments.

Groom’s mother  will do sagan  and give envelopes to all the ladies who have accompanied.

Groom’s family leaves taking the Bride along with them, when the Girl’s side come over to the Boy’s house they can take the Bride back with them.

Bride’s  side  goes to Groom’s  House along with Father-in-Law

They are welcomed in with Achoo Michoo.  After meeting all the guests. Ask the Groom to come to the Patla, do sagan and give the whole  vaga to him.  Father-in-Law will put the Pheta/Paghdi on his head and  put the shawl around him.  You may give the Gold Buttons  to him now.  Every one meets the Groom and he comes down with his right foot forward.

Groom’s mother now makes the mother-in-law stand on the patla, does sagan and gives her Sasu-dakhal-ni- saree –full  set along with coconut,paan, sopari……etc. along with an sagan nu envelope. In one kora new mathabana (do not stitch the border of matabana) tie some sagan na rupiya and little chokha, in one corner of the mathabanoo, gaanth mari devano. (for Sasu-dakhal na kapra ni reet, you may with mutual understanding get the blouse, peticoate stitched to the bride’s measurement). This is called ‘Ghere tedvani reet’ when the girl comes back home to her mother’s place, she may change into this saree and come if she so wishes.

OR –both side mothers-in-laws can keep the sarees for themselves and wear that at the wedding of their children., accordingly blouse, peticoate has to be stitched.

Now invite the sister-in-law on the Patla, do sagan gives  her Naran-dakhal-ni- saree –full  set along with coconut,paan, sopari……etc. along with an sagan nu envelope. In one kora new mathabana (do not stitch the border of matabana) tie some sagan na rupiya and little chokha, in one corner of the mathabanoo, gaanth mari devano.

Put  a coin in the Diva.

Serve refreshment to all.

Serve refreshments.

Bride’s  mother  will do sagan  and give envelopes to all the ladies who have accompanied.

After they all leave the Bride and Groom can have dinner to-ether and then go and leave the Bride home.

3^rd day can be a free day to make last minute  preparation for the wedding.  Cleaning and polishing the Ses etc.

Today is the day for eating khichri (light food)  :)  :)

Some useful Tips and Guidelines for the wedding in the Family

All things to buy and keep ready for the Big Day – early days preparations :)

Kankoo ½ kg.
Haldi Powder ¼ kg.
Rice Powder ¼ kg. (rice flour)
Kharek ½ kg.
Sopari ½ kg.
Paan with stems get fresh every day.
Halad na ganthia ½ kg.
Kotla ni badaam ½ kg.
Batasa 1 kg.
Khadi Sakar ½ kg.
Rice 1 kg.
¼ kg. wheat (for Suparani reet)
4 small clean supra (for supra ni reet)
1 dry coconut vati (for supra ni reet)
¼ kg. green moong (for supra ni reet)
Rose water – Gulab Paani 1 big bottle
Mava/Chocolate ni Boi (Fish shaped) (for dahi machli ni reet)
Sev (vermacilli) depending on the no. of guests + 1 kg. extra
Ravo (sooji) depeding on the no. of guests
Vanilla, rose, icecream essence of your choice
Rose water one bottle
Badam, pista, kaju, kismis cut and keep ready for sev/rava
A box of soft tissues
Patlo for the couple to stand on
Red saree or chunni for Paghdi on Madavsora
One 9” X 9” (approx) mulmul no katko for Madavsora
Madavsora ni Pariki (you will get at jewelers)
Chowk purvana few new dabbas
Chowk no chuno
Chowk purvana colours
Oil/ghee for diva (batti)
Charcoal for loban
Sukhad, vaher, loban
Agarbbati,
Kakra ni dabbi
Match Box
Diva na glasses
Flowers to be ordered (Gajro/toran etc) on all days
Eggs 1 dozs for Achoo Michoo
Milk for Rawa, tea, coffee etc.
Milk to make sweet curd (in a big bowl for all and small bowl for the ses)
Sugar
Table cloth
Sutar no daro 2 (2 or 3 taar/strads) (1 for coconut/Madavsora and one to take on the wedding day)
4 small supras (if you want to do the supra ni reet)
Arrange to get a Flower pot with red matti/mud and mango sapling for madavsora (you will get it at any nursery or your flower wala can arrange)
Coconut 2 dozs. New (clean and keep the point, one small one for the wedding day)
Envelopes 2-3 dozens
2 Red Pens
New Notes if possible for pheramni
Plates, spoons, paper napkins, trays, glasses etc. for refreshments.
Cold Drinks
Arrange to get refreshments something sweet, something salty, and keep ready.
Curtains, table cloths, flower vase, sitting arrangements etc.
Music (parsi lagan na geet are fun on these days)

Groom’s Side
Jewllery for Bride
One Gold Set consists of :
Necklace (given on Adarni)
Earrings (Dahi Machli)
Bracelet (Sasre Khore Besare)
Ring (for engagement)
One Gold Ring for Brother-in-Law (sala dakhal ni)
Gold wedding Band for Bride
Silver Band for Bride
Cash Envelopes
One Rial (you will get at any parsi Jweller)
Consists of one Silver coin with green beads
One Madavsora ni dabbi (tiny box)

3 Sets of saree :
1 for Engagement- Red or Maroon Saree, Peticoat, Blouse, Underwear, Sadro, Kasti, Shoes, Hankerchief, Scarf, Red Bengals.
1 for Adarni one-Full set as above of any colour.
1 set of Saree,Blouse piece, petticoat, sadro, Hanky and an cash envelope, for the Bride’s mother (sasu dakhalna)
1 set of saree, petticoat, blouse, sadro (for Pachli raat na lagan na)
One Shawl for Bride’s father, one envelope

Bride’s Side
One Gold wedding band
One Silver Band
One Engagement Ring Gold or Diamond
Gold shirt buttons
One Watch
Furniture
One double bed with mattresses, pillows
Cupboard
Two Chairs
One Teapoy
One Big suitcase (for full year’s clothes etc)
One small ses with batti for every day use
One Lamp
Utensils
Four sets of utensils with cover (you may add whatever the grils wants to use. Cooker, dishes,non-stick, etc.

One bowl for Dahi Machli
One glass or vase for Haath dhovanu (hand washing)
One Dish or flat plate for Pug dhovanu (feet washing in milk)
One Tambri or Vase with a big mouth on which a coconut can stand to given at the time of Varovar.

Any other requirement in the house as per your wish
One Shawl for Groom’s father
3 Sets of saree:
One full set of White Wedding Saree, Blouse, petticoat hand stitched sadro, underwear, hanky, shoes. Saree Pin.

One rectangular double piece to put on the head under the saree Sor.
One Kanchli
1 set of Saree, Blouse piece, petticoat, sadro, Hanky and and cash envelope, for the Bride’s mother (sasu dakhalna)
1 set of Saree, Blouse piece, petticoat, sadro, Hanky and and cash envelope, for the Bride’s mother (Naran dakhalna)
Vaga for the Groom (as per your financial condition)
Sadras
Sleeping suits
Shirts
Pants
Full suit (Shirt,Pant,Coat,tie,hanky,links)
Prayer cap
Feto/paghdi
Shoes
Kasti
Red or White Shawl
Brush, comb

From Groom’s Side

Envelope for Mabed who comes for Nahan

Envelope  for  Nahan nahavana akhiyanana

Envelope  for  Ashirwad sare tena two dastoorji-na

Envelope  for  Agiary ma boi dei  tena

Envelope  for  Varbeda nu (hath dhovravanu)

Envelope  for  Pug dhovrave tena

Envelope  Cheda chodvana (optional)

Envelope  along with the Ring for Bride’s brother (Sala dakhal ni viti)

Envelope for Bride’s father along with a Shawl

Envelopes for  50%…..Band, Electrician, Caterer, Lights etc. as per arrangements made.

Some extra envelopes

One Red pen.

Bag for all the gift envelopes

Plastic Bags (some extra)

From the Bride’s side

After bath do sagan with an envelope, and She may go to the Agiary accompanied by someone from the family.

One white handkerchief for Nan Nahvane mate.

Envelope for Mabed who comes for Nahan

Envelope  for  Nahan nahavana akhiyanana

Envelope  for  Ashirwad sare tena dastoorji-ne (who stands near the girl side)

Envelope  for  Agiary ma boi de tena

Envelope  Cheda chodvana (optional)

Envelope for Bride’s father along with a Shawl

Envelopes for 50% …..Band, Electrician, Caterer, Lights etc. as per arrangements made.

Some extra envelopes

One Red pen.

Bag for all the gift envelopes

Plastic Bags (some extra)

THE DAY OF THE WEDDING
The day begins with Chowk Toran Divo/Batti Loban sagan ni sev, dahi etc.
See that the Divo/Batti lasts for 24 hours.
After bath Clean and arrange the Full Ses, put a bowl of rice.
Bride/Groom takes bath milk and flower and do sagan and give the coconut in his hand which He/She has to take it for the wedding along with a sagan nu evelope, go to Agiary and seek blessings of Ahura Mazda.
Varadh Pattar Ni Baaj will be done this morning in the Agiary…this is done to invite Ram Yazad and All our dear Asho Farohar to the wedding.

What the Groom’s side will take in the evening for wedding:
You may take few things in the bag everything will not fit into the Ses
Full Ses with every thing fresh and new including fresh kankoo.
One white handkerchief for Nan Nahvane mate.
One Napkin
Some tissues
In the Ses put Nahan Nahavano Towel, Chappals
Soap pot, Talcum Powder, Shampoo, perfume, Hair Brush,
Shirt, Pant, Sadro, Underwear, Shoes, Socks, Kasti, Hankerchief.
Pheta/Pagdi
Ara antar no doro
1 set of saree for the Bride (Pachli lagan na Kapra) which can be given to the girl before or after the wedding.
Envelope + Ring for the Bride’s brother .
Wedding Ring /Band for the Bride (keep it in your purse)
Envelope + Shawl for Bride’s father
Coconut for the wedding
Sasra Khore Bese teni Jewelry earings or necklace (whatever is decided beforehand)
All the envelopes
Bag for all the gift envelopes
Extra Plastic Bags to put shoes and wet towel etc.
Everything in the ses that you prepared yesterday.
If there is new furniture in Groom’s house put garland on all.
Keep Achoo Michoo tray ready for the night when you return home.
While leaving from home do sagan and give another coconut (the one for the wedding will be given after Nahan)
Also remember to keep the Bed ready for the Bridal Couple for the night and keep one coconut ready, Mother in law will take the coconut round seven times over their heads and break it. Take ovarna with rice.

What the Bride’s side will take in the evening for wedding:
You may take few things in the bag everything will not fit into the Ses
Full Ses with every thing fresh and new including fresh kankoo.
One Napkin
Some tissues
In the Ses put Nahan Nahavano Towel, Chappals
Soap pot, Talcum Powder, Shampoo, perfume, cosmetics, safety pins, hair pins.
Hair clips, hair brush,
Saree, Blouse, Peticoat, Sadro, Underwears, Shoes, Kasti, Hankerchief.
1 set of saree for the Bride (Pachli raat na lagan na Kapra) which can be given to the girl before or after the wedding.
Ara antar ni saree/material
Ara antar no doro
One Kanchli
Envelope + Ring for the Bride’s brother .
Wedding Ring /Band for the Groom (keep it in your purse)
Coconut for the wedding
Envelope + Shawl for Bride’s father
All the envelopes
Bag for all the gift envelopes
Extra Plastic Bags to put shoes and wet towel etc.
Everything in the ses that you prepared yesterday.
Chairs to be sent to the Baug before hand
One teapoy
Lamp with bulb and plug.
Varbeda ni Tamri (or a vase or ..)
Pug dhoyani tray or khumchi with a small glass in it.
Ghee apiyano kasio (copper) with a small paket of Ghee and Jaggary which will be taken by the Dastoorji who comes for Nahan.
Make prior arrangement for the Beautician to come.
While leaving from home do sagan and give another coconut (the one for the wedding will be given after Nahan)

Ceremony to be done after Nahan
When the Groom is ready do sagan, put on Garland, Give Shawl, Flower Bouquet And Lagan nu Coconut.
Groom will be invited by the Mother-in-law to stand on the steps of the stage where she is waiting to do Achoo Michoo to the Groom.
Bride’s mother does sagan to the Groom and Bride’s mother puts on the watch.
Groom will then go and sit next to Dasturji awaiting the Bride.
Sister-in-law will come wash his hands and the Groom will give her an envelope.
Both the Father-in-laws will exchange shawl and envelopes.
If any senior member of family is to respected you can invite them and give them shawl and/or an envelope
Brother –in-law to be invited, do sagan and put on the ring and give sagan nu envelope.
Arrange for someone to stand near the gate to welcome the guests in.
Persons who are coming to stand as witness should be made ready.
Once the Bride is ready, both the Bride and Groom along with the witnesses will have to sign the form of willingness to get married in the presence of the Dastoorji. Marriage certificate takes time in coming from the Parsi Punchayat.

Get Ready for the Ashirwad
Dastoorji, Both the witnesses,Bride and the Groom will do kasti, when they put their coconut down please take care.

First the Groom will go to the stage and Mother-in-law will do Achoo Michoo and boy will be made to sit on the chair the two witnesses with the help of the Dastoorji they will hold the Ara Antar nu kapdu in front of the Groom.
Entry of Bride
Bride walks down the isle on the arm of her dear father, who leads her to the stage the mother takes overna with rice and welcomes her on the stage, makes her sit on the chair in front of the boy. Mother of Groom and Mother of Bride will stand behind the respective chair along with the other 4 married ladies. The Groom and Bride will hold right hand in shake hand and in the left hand they will be given some rice to hold.
Dastoorji will take the Sutar –no-doro and tie it around the hands while chanting prayers. Then the Sutar=no-doro is tied around the chair 7 times praying 7 Yatha-ahu variyo. As soon as the 7th Yath-ahu-variyo is prayed the Bride and the Groom has immediately throw rice on each other. Who ever throws first is the winner. Sometimes both throw at the same time ..All is well.
While this ceremony is being done that time presence of fire is a must (loban). Bride and groom pay respect to the fire and bow their heads.

Now the Bride is made to sit next to Boys chair and the Ashirwad begins. During the sacred and important ceremony everyone standing behind, the Bride and the Groom should pray Yatha, Ashem and when asked ‘Pasande Kardam’ they should bow their head and say yes. Both the witnesses will also be asked the same.
The Groom’s father will put garland on the Dastoorji and give them an envelope.
After the Ashirwad ceremony the Groom will put on the wedding ring and then the Bride will put on the wedding ring and kiss each other.
Sister –in-law will come to wash the feet of the Groom with milk. Just put a drop of milk on each shoe and Groom will give an envelope.
Groom’s sister will tie the end of Dagli and girls saree paloo end with pin (known as chheda bandwana) after the Groom gives and envelope, she will remove the pin (care should be taken that the saree does not tear).
Request the guest not to come on the stage right away and the Bridal Couple should be allowed to go the Fire Temple to take the Blessings of Atash Padshah and pray for the Long, Happy, Contended and Successful Wedded life.
After coming back from the Fire Temple the Bride can adjust her Saree, hair, touch up make-up and come back to stage for all the guests to meet.
Dinner is announced, move around the guests meet everyone.
Certain payment has to be done immediately like Music, Electrician etc.
Take care that you check everything and arrange to take Chairs, teapoy, lamp all the bags, ses etc.
On leaving, the Bride’s side can go to leave the bride home.
Groom’s mother will do Achoo Michoo and welcome the Bridal Couple home.

If the couple is going Iranshah the next day keep the bag ready with fresh/decent clothes for Atashbehram, Hotel booking details, Tandorasti (if) names of both side family. Travel arrangement to and fro etc.

Varovar

Varovar can be done anytime after the wedding, depending on both the parties.  It can be done the next day, next week or next month.

Only after the varovar is done you may pick up the Madavsoro –no-pot and empty out all the Ses of Paan, sopari, coconut rice, kankoo etc. and it should be put in the Sea or running water.

A small vase/vessel/ that has been brought by the Bride should be decorated with teeli and garland put in 5-7 pedas (sweet meat), Paan, karek, sopari, badam, sakar.

On the top put the red cloth (approx.1/2 to 1 mt.) from which small dress can be stitched on the 6^th day after the first child has been born. Put coconut balanced on the red cloth Pointing upwards Garland the vase. And do sagan to them both and give the vase and an envelope to them both.  If it is decided earlier some people may even return the ring to the Groom that was previously gifted as Sala Dakhal ni ring.

British Deputy High Commissioner, Mumbai invited to a Parsi wedding for the first time, and gives a ‘thumb-nail’ review of the community’s current situation.

From wedding feast to global business – never under-estimate the Parsi influence for good in Mumbai

I was fortunate recently to attend my first ever Parsi wedding. Two of the 40 or so Parsi staff in the Deputy High Commission in Mumbai, Nazneen (our press officer) and Burzin ( a member of the UKBA team), were getting married, and they had been kind enough to invite my wife and me to their wedding.

There are many contrasts with a typical UK wedding. First there were far more people – about 700 – than most people in the UK would normally invite but Indian festive occasions extend beyond the immediate family and friends of the couple to include the social and business obligations of parents and siblings on both sides. The couple are married on a dais after which all the guests go up to meet and greet them individually.” Then there is food, and lots of it! The food is served on a large banana leaf – I had never realised, until I saw mine covered with delicious fish, chicken, rice and much more, how big a banana leaf is! Afterwards, and perhaps this is the biggest difference with Britain, most of the guests depart without so much as one speech: something many people might welcome in the UK.

The Parsis have kept these traditions, and many more, ever since they first emigrated to India from Iran centuries ago. During the wedding the couple went to a nearby “Fire Temple” to pray. These are so named because a fire burns in them eternally as it represents purity, being the only element that cannot be contaminated. In continuance to the original vow made when they first sought refuge in India, Fire Temples admit only Parsis. Pheroza Godrej, who edited a superb book on the origins and development of Bombay, has produced a magnificently illustrated History of the Parsis. I can’t claim to have read it, but it is a labour of love and meticulous research, which wowed some recent visitors from Europe at her home.

The Parsis have a wholly disproportionate influence in Mumbai and India compared to their tiny population. Globally there are probably no more than 120,000, with the largest group outside Mumbai in Toronto.

The Parsi influence was underlined shortly after the wedding I attended by an announcement by the Tata Group – India’s largest business conglomerate, and of course with major interests in the UK, including JLR and Corus – that they were appointing as their next chair a Parsi, Cyrus Mistry. Tata was founded by a Parsi, Jamshyd Tata, who was brought up in the small, dusty trading town of Navsari on the Gujarat coast. He started a steel business in Eastern India, and from there his successors as Chairmen– Parsis all – have built the company into the $78bn megalith it is today.

There are other powerful business groups in India with Parsi owners, including the massive consumer and industrial goods manufacturer Godrej, and smaller companies like Pune-based Forbes Marshall and Thermax.

But the Parsi influence goes way beyond business. Tata have some of the most well-endowed Foundations and Institutes in India, and a significant proportion of the Group’s profits are ploughed under its constitution into these charitable organisations. It is no exaggeration to say that many of Mumbai’s most valuable research organisations, hospitals and cultural centres (for example the vibrant National Centre for the Performing Arts, run by a Parsi, Khushroo Suntook, formerly a senior Tata executive) could not survive without Tata, Godrej or other Parsi generosity.

So from a banana leaf feast to the next head of global giant Tata the Parsi influence continues to hold great sway in Mumbai.

Peter Beckingham

British Deputy High Commissioner, Mumbai 

Courtesy : Hushang Vakil

Through a French man’s eye

Navsari, a place also known as Dharam Ni Tekri by many. Land which gave this society very known and Famous personalities.

On 21st March about 2000 people witnessed a A very Historic moment which shall be remembered by many of us, where 11 children from poor families were initiated into Zoroastrian faith .

A deserving Parsee couple was sweared in as Husband & wife.

This noble deed was taken care of by MR. HORMUZ AVARI, many more people who flawlessly contributed to this noble deed.

A small town like ours sets an example for the rest of the community to do something like this to encourage today’s Youth by welcoming them into Zoroastrian faith. Lavish food was served to each one present for the function. An evening that indeed was a memorable one. An evening that proved once again that Parsees are born to do charities, what other example than this.Thanking each one from our heart to give us a wonderful evening.

 Courtesy b:Khushroo Avari

Listen in to Pazand Aashirwad, Sanskrit Ashirwad, along with Afrin Buzorgaan and Doa Tandarosti rendered beautifully by Er. Soli Dastur

Pazand Ashirwad from Masani with English Transliteration

The original Pazand Ashirwad was published in Gujarati with its word by word translation in Gujarati by that eminent Parsi Scholar Ervad Feroze Masani. Ervad Soli P. Dastur transliterated it as well as translated it from Gujarati into English.

Pazand_Ashirwad_Translation and Transliteration

Sanskrit Ashirwad from Masani

By Ervad Soli P. Dastur.

After our ancestors received the gracious asylum by King Jadi Rana and his court, and after establishing our Pak Iranshah Atash Behram on the land granted to us by King Jadi Rana, our learned Dasturjis, at the request of the King Jadi Rana, explained the basics of our religion and social customs to the King and his court. One of our most sacred social custom of marriage was explained to them with our Pazand Ashirwad. And in their honor, our Dasturjis translated this Pazand Ashirwad in Sanskrit and presented it to the King and His court with a solemn oath that in their honor, during our most sacred marriage ceremony, we will perform our Pazand Ashirwad followed by this Sanskrit Ashirwad, followed by Afrin Buzorgaan and Doa Tandoorasti.

Over the centuries, unfortunately, many Mobed families dropped this Sanskrit Ashirwad from the marriage ceremony. However, to this day, some of the nine Sanjana families in charge of Iranshah still continue this old tradition and I am very proud to say that our immediate Dastoor family still has kept this old custom going and my brother Ervad Palanji Dastoor and me have performed a few Ashirwads of our immediate families with both Pazand and Sanskrit Ashirwads.

Hope we continue this practice in the future.

Sanskrit_Ashirwad Translation and Transliteration

Courtesy and Kind Persmission from Er. Soli Dastur and Simon Gee, ZAF Online

Indian Zoroastrian (Parsi or Parsee and Irani) weddings are called a lagan in the Gujarati vernacular.

The Parsees (Parsis) immigrated to India from Iran over a thousand years ago following the Arab invasion of Iran. The Irani Zoroastrians of India immigrated during the last two or three hundred years. Some Irani Zoroastrians continue to have relatives in Iran.

According to the story of the Parsi / Parsee migration to the state of Gujarat in India, the Kisse Sanjan, one of the conditions imposed by the ruling king of Gujarat, Jadi Rana, for allowing the refugees to settle in his kingdom, was that the Zoroastrians would perform marriage ceremonies in the evenings, just after sunset, and that the women would wear the clothes of local women, namely saris.

However, the Parsi / Parsee tradition of holding marriage ceremonies just after sunset does not necessarily stem from the conditions imposed by Jadi Rana. Back in the country from which the Parses migrated, traditional Yazdi Iranian wedding ceremonies were also customarily held in the late evening after dinner. (See Yazdi Wedding Customs)

Indian Zoroastrian weddings and pre-wedding festivities can be quite elaborate, and regardless of size, they are joyous and fun-filled occasions. The rituals, ceremonies and festivities related to a wedding start as soon as a couple decide they want to marry.

While in the past, families played a significant role in introducing prospective partners from within the community, nowadays, Zoroastrians for the main part find their own partners. In the west, these partners are often individuals from other communities.

Age of Marriage

There is a trend for Indian Zoroastrians to marry in their twenties and sometimes even later. This is because Zoroastrians by and large wait until they have graduated from university and have settled in a profession. A corollary is that Zoroastrian families are having fewer children and there are more deaths than births in this emancipated and highly educated community.

Family Blessings – Rupia Peravanu

1942 Silver Indian Rupee

As a rule, when Zoroastrians decide to marry, they inform their parents and seek their parents’ approval. Approval is usually forthcoming, unless of course, the parents feel a marriage would be harmful or ill-advised for some reason overlooked by their daughter or son. It is not uncommon for the parents of both parties to engage in a conversation between themselves to discuss the intentions of their children. If the parents’ consideration is objective and made in the best interests of the couple-to-be, their advice can be invaluable in preventing errors of judgment and short-lived marriages.

Once the parents give their blessings, the rupia peravanu ceremony is arranged at the earliest date. Rupia is a word for the Indian currency – the rupee. Until just over fifty years ago, the rupee was made from silver. The ceremony marks the start of the two families coming together to bless and support the couple, and takes place at the bride-to-be’s family home.

In preparation for the rupia peravanu ceremony, the bride-to-be’s family home is thoroughly cleaned and the main doorways are decorated with torans and chalk designs.

Knitted toran simulating marigolds and mango leaves

Toran of white tuberoses and red carnations

Torans are placed along the top frames of the doorways in a manner similar to a decorative valance, and can be made from flowers, knitting, embroidered cloth or beads.

The photographs above, to the right and below, show examples of different kinds of torans.

Kusti weaver Monaz Variava hand makes a toran on a loom at her home in Parsi/Parsee Vad, Navsari, Gujarat, India Designs include fish, roosters & flowers

Designs stamped from powdered chalk, sometimes called chuna or rangoli, festoon the floor on all sides of the doorway. Inside doorways are also decorated.

The visiting entourage from the groom-to-be’s family consists of five to seven (and a maximum of nine) women to give the bride-to-be a gift of silver coins placed in a red brocaded bag. They may carry a sace or ses with them containing a selection of items including the gifts. The visitors are greeted at the door by the intended bride’s mother or eldest woman relative, who performs the achu michu ritual on the visitors. While the ritual is performed to ostensibly remove evil and the evil eye – that is, impediments to a successful marriage – the sentiment is more towards sanctifying the occasion and encouraging positive feelings.

Chalk (chuna or rangoli) designs

At the conclusion of the achu michu, the bride’s mother invites the visitors to sit in the living room where tea and refreshments are served. At the conclusion of the sharing of refreshments, the groom’s mother ceremonially gives the son’s intended the gift of silver coins. This can be done by the groom’s mother asking the bride-to-be to stand on a spot designated by chalk designs, garlanding the bride and placing the bag containing the coins in her hand.

After the groom’s family return home, the bride’s family reciprocate with a visit to the groom’s family home, taking with them a gift of silver coins for the groom-to-be.

Bride’s family visits groom’s home

It is now the groom’s mother’s (or older female family member) turn to perform the achu michu ritual on the visiting group from the bride’s family.

The exchange of silver coins is a token of the two families’ agreement and commitment to the marriage. The exchange of visits and blessings formally demonstrate the families’ support for the couple and their decision to marry.

The ceremony also marks the start of the planning process for the wedding ceremony that includes the fixing of a wedding date.

Wedding Planning & Choosing the Date

At a convenient time following the rupia peravanu ceremony, the couple and their families get together to decide on the engagement and marriage dates. For the orthodox, the day of the month according to the Zoroastrian calendar plays an important role in the decision-making. A few also consult an astrologer who suggests dates based on a horoscope (a common practice amongst the Hindus).

Auspicious days according to the Zoroastrian calendar (Shenshai, Kadmi or Fasli) are the first day (Hormazd) or the twentieth day (Behram) of the month.

Engagement – Adravanu, Devo & Sagan Ceremonies

Once the families finalize their plans and have time to acquire and accumulate engagement gifts, the date for a ceremony to mark the formal engagement or betrothal is fixed. The adravanu is the time when the groom-to-be’s family give the bride-to-be a new set of clothes, accessories and jewellery. It is followed by an engagement ceremony.

Chalk (rangoli) decorations

Generally, this ceremony is performed at the bride-to-be’s family home, though the ceremony can also be performed at the groom-to-be’s family home. As with the rupia peravanu ceremony, the doorways of the two homes are decorated with torans and chalk designs.

Some families light an oil lamp called a devo early in the morning on this day. If the theme of the rupia peravanu was silver coins, the theme of the adravanu is fire – adra meaning fire. The theme is reflected in the lighting of lamps and the red colour of the sari and bangles gifted to the bride-to-be.

When the groom’s family arrives at the bride’s family home, they are greeted in a fashion similar to when they arrived for the rupia peravanu ceremony. If the ceremony is planned to go beyond the giving of gifts to an engagement ceremony, the visiting group includes the groom and other close male relatives. The bride’s party welcomes the groom’s party with song and amidst the song, the bride’s mother or senior woman relative garlands the visitors.

The adravanu ceremony starts with the devo ritual. A devo, or oil lamp, is lit by the groom-to-be’s mother who also puts a silver coin in the devo after which she asks the bride-to-be to stand on a stool called a patlo, stepping first with her right foot. The stool is decorated with chalk or rangoli, designs. The groom’s mother performs an achu michu and presents the bride-to-be with gifts that include a red sari and bangles.

The bride-to-be retires to change into her new clothes aided by the other women folk who, if playful, will sing as they wrap the sari around the bride-to-be.

Placing of the bangles

On her return, she is invited to stand on the patlo again and this time the groom’s mother then places red bangles on the bride-to-be’s arm. In earlier days, placing the bangles had the same significance as the exchange of rings has today.

The groom-to-be is now invited to join his intended on the patlo and the two mothers or the eldest woman relative from each family take turns performing the sagan ritual. In the sagan ritual, a coconut is placed in each of their right hands and a garland is placed around their necks. The officiating woman then dips her thumbs into a small metal bowl containing kunkun (sometimes called kumkum) or vermillion paste and touches both their the shoes with her thumb, leaving a red spot of kunkun on their shoes. Next, she places the vermillion paste on their foreheads, making a round mark on the bride-to-be’s forehead and a vertical mark on the groom-to-be’s forehead. The concluding act of the sagan ritual is the placing a piece of sugar crystal, sakar, dipped in yoghurt in the couple’s mouths to encourage sweetness in their communication.

After both mothers have performed the sagan ritual, the couple exchange engagement rings. Family members and invited guests then come up and present the couple gifts – usually envelopes of cash for both of them.

In Zoroastrianism, when a man and woman take part the engagement ceremony, they are implicitly engaging in an exchange of promises witnessed by the angel Mithra, guardian of promises and contracts. The promises are binding and on the pain of damnation, cannot be broken in normal circumstances.

[In earlier days, this ceremony was called nam padvun or namzad kardan (Persian), meaning to name, as this was when the bride-to-be (who until this time was na-kardeh-nam meaning unnamed), adopted the husband’s family name. From this point on the bride-to-be would be connected to the groom-to-be in all religious ceremonies. The marriage ceremony itself was called nekeh kardan meaning confirmation. Breaking the implied contract of the engagement would result in a great loss of face for the families and a shunning of the offending party by the rest of the community. This practice has been discontinued.]

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I mentioned recently that we have just returned from a trip to India for our niece’s wedding.  I can save a lot of time by simply saying that if you’ve ever seen a Bollywood movie, you will know that Indians like to do things with lots of color, extravagance and action.  And we had all of those things!

The bride and groom are both Parsi Zoroastrians.  I could do a year’s worth of posts on the subject of Parsees alone.  Quick background:   Zoroastrians are followers of Zoroaster, or Zarathustra, who founded one of the first monotheistic religions in Persia sometime around 1500 BC.  Persian kings Cyrus, Darius and Xerxes, among others, were Zoroastrians.

Sometime between the 8th and 10th centuries AD, a sizable group of Persian Zoroastrians came to India to escape Muslim persecution and were allowed to settle in Gujarat state, north of Mumbai  (formerly Bombay), providing they did not take up arms or attempt to convert any local people to Zoroastrianism.

Over the years, the Parsis have treasured and maintained  their Persian rituals and traditions, but have also adopted a number of local Hindu customs.  As a result, a Parsi wedding is an interesting multicultural experience.

Both the bride and groom live in New Zealand but they wanted a traditional Parsi wedding ceremony so they decided to have it in Mumbai where the groom’s family, as well as number of the bride’s relatives, live.

The wedding ceremonies took place over three days.  The first day was the formal engagement.  It started with the groom’s family coming to the bride’s house with an engagement trousseau for the bride.  The groom’s mother, sister and aunt dressed the bride in the engagement sari and presented her with gifts.

Although there was a lot of variety in the rituals and ceremonies, there was one constant—eating!  After a snack, the groom’s family took the bride to their home.

An hour later, representatives from the bride’s family (including me!) went over to the groom’s home with engagement clothes and gifts for the groom.

At this ceremony the bride and groom were together and they exchanged engagement rings.

The extended family also presented the bride and groom gifts and the two families also gave gifts to each other.  And then we had more refreshments.

Shortly afterward, the bride’s family returned to the bride’s home for a formal lunch.

In the evening, there was a big engagement party at a local hotel.  With lots of eating.  I went native for the event:

They don’t have a wedding cake at the actual wedding so they had one at the engagement dinner:

The next day there were some very interesting ceremonies.

There is the Madhavsaro ceremony where the families of the bride and groom each plant a young mango tree in a pot and place it at the entrance of their homes to symbolize growth and fertility.  The bride’s maternal uncle, in this case my brother in law, was chosen to do the ceremony.  There is a lot of praying and chanting over the tree and lots of incense is burned. After the wedding the tree is transplanted in the garden.

After the tree planting, there was a ceremony called Supra nu Murat, an adopted Hindu ritual where four married women each take a woven basket with some symbolic items in it (turmeric root, betel nut, dates, coconut, etc.) and pass them around while singing traditional songs.   They then grind the turmeric root into a paste in a mortar.

Then it comes time to cleanse the bride!  Turmeric, which has antiseptic qualities, but which stains everything yellow, is used.  The ground turmeric paste is applied liberally to the bride’s body (in this case, just arms, legs and face), while she sits on a wooden platform.

To complete the ritual, the men of the family pick her up on the platform and turn her around seven times.

It was a lot of fun. The groom had the similar ceremonies and rituals performed at his home that morning and apparently he was stripped down to his underwear and liberally coated with turmeric paste.

After the bride showered the family had another formal luncheon and later in the afternoon we all went to the groom’s house.

This was the Adarni ceremony. The bride’s family presented the groom with  clothes and gifts, and similarly the groom’s family presented the bride with clothes and jewellery.

And guess what?  There were refreshments at the groom’s house followed by dinner at the bride’s home.

We then had three days off before the actual wedding.  The wedding date had been selected based on an auspicious day in the Parsi calendar, which happened to be Thursday.  Normally the ceremonies described above would have been held on four separate days prior to the wedding.  That would have been fine if all we’d had to do was walk across the village square, but because we had to deal with Mumbai traffic and drive across town between the bride and groom’s houses, the families decided to consolidate all the ceremonies over the previous weekend.

When the Parsis originally arrived in India, one of the dictates of the local king was that they always conduct their celebrations very early in the morning or after dark so that they would not attract undue attention from the locals.  As a result, the wedding was to start when the first star appeared in the sky.  Which is a difficult thing to determine in Mumbai with the present pollution levels.

On the wedding day, the bride and groom’s families arrived at the wedding venue by late afternoon.  The wedding was held at a place called Albless Baug and is one of the most popular venues for Parsi celebrations in Bombay.  It is an enclosed compound with halls and a big courtyard.  The bride and groom had a hall each to themselves to get ready before the wedding.

The bride had her hair and makeup done by one of her cousins.

The wedding process started with the Nahan ceremony. This is a ritual purification ceremony where the priest says prayers and blesses the bride.  The bride then went for an actual bath when she returned there were additional prayers with the priest.  While this was going on the groom was having a similar ceremony with his family.

After the Nahan ceremony, the bride was dressed in her bridal sari and jewellery by her mother and aunts. Then she had to wait alone and was not supposed to be touched by anyone or eat or drink anything until after the wedding ceremony later that evening.

Plus once again I went native for the occasion:

The actual wedding took place on a stage decorated with flowers.  The bride and groom sat on specially made chairs, which will usually become family heirlooms.  The groom and then the bride were brought to the platform by their families and there were lots of blessings and little rituals.  For example, a coconut and raw eggs were rotated over their heads and broken before they came on to the stage.  This is to take away any negativity or bad luck.

Once the rituals are finished, the two priests conducted the wedding ceremony which lasted about an hour. Close married relatives of the bride and groom stood behind the couple and the priests stood in front. The priests recited the prayers and blessings in Avesta, an ancient language, and continually showered the bride and groom with rice.

Immediately after the ceremony, the bride and groom went with their parents to a Parsi fire temple nearby for a quick prayer and then returned to the stage so that the guests could greet them and congratulate them.

There was dancing and music all evening long while waiters circulated with drinks and appetizers. With over 500 guests, the dinner was served in three seatings. It was a very traditional Parsi wedding meal served on banana leaves!

It was a fun and memorable event and I wish the bride and groom a very happy married life.

Thomas Stazyk

http://testazyk.com/2011/01/18/celebrating-a-parsi-wedding-in-mumbai/

http://weddingz.in/blog/5-things-to-look-forward-to-in-a-parsi-wedding/

Ses Sangarwani – http://wp.me/p6TVE-3SU
Rupiya Pehervani Reet — before engagement – http://wp.me/p6TVE-3T1
Engagement Ceremony – Adravanoo – http://wp.me/p6TVE-3Ta
Achoo Michoo Ceremony – http://wp.me/p6TVE-3Td
Sagan / Teeli ni Reet – http://wp.me/p6TVE-3U4
Madavsoro – http://wp.me/p6TVE-3U6
SUPRA NI REET – Ne – HALDI NI REET – http://wp.me/p6TVE-3U9
Divo Adarni – http://wp.me/p6TVE-3Uc
Preparations one day before the wedding – http://wp.me/p6TVE-3Um
ON THE WEDDING DAY ! – http://wp.me/p6TVE-3Uo
VAROVAR – http://wp.me/s6TVE-varovar

There are several shops that sell Parsi sarees in Mumbai… most of them are located near Cama Baug, Grant Road. You can also try RTI-the Ratan Tata Institute at Hughes Road (although most of their sarees are hand embroidered and hence very expensive).

Here are a few details…

First up is Coronet. One of the oldest shops in the area. They sell things that are essentially used for Parsi weddings (ses, madhosaro kits, net sadras, wedding sarees) and the Parsi household (torans, asho farohars, night lamps, divos).

What is a gara saree? It is a saree that has white (or light coloured) embroidery on a dark shade saree. The designs are inspired by Chinese motifs. They include cocks, parrots, Chinese men, Chinese houses and bamboos.

There are several other shops that deal with similar items. Most of them sell machine-embroidered gara sarees and white lace wedding sarees. The lace sarees are mostly German lace and French Chantilly. The range of the sarees is from Rs 18K to 40K. Depending on the type of lace, amount of sequins, crystals and beads on the saree, the price increases.

A shop that deals with garas, lace sarees, sadra material and jewellery

They also have a different kind of outfit… something like a jacket kurti that can be worn by those who are not comfortable wearing sarees. Same gara design on it.

Below is a list of shops I visited along with numbers… for those of you who want to call before going.

Coronet: 23854426
Damania and Co. 23888187
Shree Pushpam: 23853228
Felinaz Collections: 65258044

https://mahafreed.wordpress.com/2016/01/25/buying-parsi-sarees-in-mumbai/

PLAYLIST (You can click on the play time to jump to each respective song)

• 00:17 MUBARAK, MUBARAK, MUBARAK
• 03:11 GOTA GOLAB CHAMPANO HAAR HASTU RAMTU SAONE GAMTU
• 06:12 SHUBH SUNDARIO
• 09:06 AAY ANGREJI BAND KYAN VAGE CHHE
• 12:11 DHANYA DHANYA CHHE DIVAS AAJNO
• 15:08 THAYA VIVAH VACHAN
• 17:22 VAHU AVI VAHU BHALERE AVI
• 19:55 AME AMARE GHERE JAIYE RE
• 21:53 KARU CHHU O DADGAR
• 24:25 KHUDAVIND KHAVIND
• INSTRUMENTAL:
– 27:31 GOTA GOLAB CHAMPANO HAAR
– 30:38 AME AMARE GHERE JAIYE RE

• 32:44 RATU RATU GOLAB NU PHUL RE
• 35:46 GHOOM RE GHANTI GHOOM GHOOM
• 38:59 BETINE SHIKHAMAN
• 42:29 BAAR VARASNIKANYA
• 45:10 RANGILI DARJAN
• 47:13 VALLANI DALE HICHKO BANDHYO
• 49:38 VARE VARE VARE RE KAAN SHU KAHIYE
• 51:20 JEVA KACHNA CHHE KATKA
• 53:35 CHHAIYE AME ZARTHOSTI
• 57:36 INSTRUMENTAL – CHHAIYE AME ZARTHOSTI

(C) Zoroastrian Studies